Confessions of a Broken Wing
by Raven46
Summary: Jack urges his wife to write down her story so that her unborn child may know her as her life draws to a close, with much prompting she finally does. Raven writes down her story from the soul, all the joy, sadness, pain and tears. These are her Memoirs...
1. After

Disclaimer: Ok...Obviously I don't own Newsies...I do own Raven...she's mine, don't take without asking, thank you :)

Note: By the prompting of the lovely Tuesday I have decided to write this fic...it will take me a lifetime but I shall write it...AND but thanks to her for beta-ing! Love you girl!

Jack wrapped his arms around his wife, resting his hands on her pregnant belly. He kissed her cheek that's flushed with an expectant mother's glow and sighed. 

"Just sit down at the table and write Raven..." He whispered soothingly into her ear. His voice had become the one thing she longed to hear in the dead of night when the only sound was the wind. His deep melodic tenor had a way of calming her when nothing else would. 

"I can't...I can't write it. If I write it all down, it means that this is really happening" She turned around to face him, her eyes heavy with worry. Her deep brown pools reflecting fear, something Jack had never seen in her before these past months. 

"You have to, you said so yourself. How will our son really know you, if he never knows your story, the way I know your story?" Jack kissed Raven's forehead. "Write." Raven lips began to form into her familiar flirtatious smile.

"How do you know it will be a boy?" She tilted her head to the side as she gazed at Jack.

Jack shrugged and hugged her closer. 

" Cause I'm telling you Ray, it's gonna be a boy. I can feel it." Raven rolled her eyes and laughed lightly at his confidence.

"I want a girl now, just because you want a son so badly."

"Now Ray, that ain't nice." Jack teased. Jack gripped Raven's shoulders gently and pushed her into the seat.

"Now write." 

"Damn it Jack! I can't do this now!" Raven went to stand up again but Jack held his hands there, making her unable to move.

"Yes you can.." He whispered to her again, and she closed her eyes as his familiar tone spread through her body. He picked up the pen from the desk and dipped it in the murky black ink before pressing it into her palm. Raven studied it for a moment before turning her head over her shoulder to look up at him. Jack ran his fingers across her cheek slowly and tenderly, the touch sending prickly tingles across her skin. He pressed his lips to her forehead and then headed towards the door.

"That's just like a man! Lead a woman on and then disappear!" Jack shook his head and burst into laughter as he closed the doors to the parlor, leaving Raven in the room alone. Raven smiled to herself, satisfied with his reaction. She raised the pen and pressed the butt of it between her lips.

"Now where to begin..." Raven stared at the pure paper in front of her and tentatively pressed the pen to the pristine page. 

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A boat ride across the Atlantic Ocean is not something I would like...."Absolutely not..." Raven picked up the sheet and crumpled it, tossing it into the wastebasket.

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Italy was truly my home, before I found New York City..."Tacky." She repeated the crumpling process yet again. 

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My mother always told me never to trust a man...Raven laughed aloud at this statement. "Well god knows I didn't listen to this one." She crumpled that one as well and tossed it away with a laugh. 

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God created men to irritate women until the apocalypse..."I'm not writing a cheesy romance." Raven sighed and threw that one away like the ones before. And so the pattern continued on for almost three hours. Raven stayed confined to the desk where she continued to write and dispose of, crumple or tear up her terrible beginnings. The door creaked open ad Jack stepped inside cautiously. Raven threw up her hands angrily and growled in frustration before screaming obscenities at the paper. 

"Ray?" Jack knew the warning signs of a lashing before even seeing her face, but he still decided not to save himself from her wrath.

"What!? Can't you see this is the most frustrating thing I have ever done in my life!? I write something on the page and it sounds ridiculous! I try again and AGAIN its putrid! It's like I'm in elementary school!" Jack covered his mouth and tried his best not to laugh, but instead he failed miserably, letting his laughter fill the room. 

"It's not funny!" She picked up the pen and lobbed it at him forcefully. Jack ducked quickly, his reflexes had become increasingly better over the years, and the pen zipped past his head lodging itself neatly within the wall.

"Nice aim." Jack commented as he plucked the pen from the wall. Raven just scowled at him as her response.

"Would you relax? Take a deep breath and just relax." Jack tried to calm her down but he could tell by the redness of her cheeks that it wasn't working in the slightest.

"Relax! How am I supposed to relax when I can't even write a sentence!" She paused for a moment before shooting daggers at him with her eyes. "Get out!" Jack could tell not to protest from the murderous rage her soul defining eyes displayed. He began to back out of the room, but obviously it wasn't quick enough for Raven. "Out!" Raven scooped up at least a dozen-crumpled writings from the floor and began to hurl them through the air at her husband. As the doors slammed tons of tiny white balls crashed against the wood in a mad whirlwind. Raven sighed heavily before picking up the pen. Then as if by a miracle her eyes widened and everything seemed to click.

"That's it!"

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My first days in New York City were by far the best days of my childhood, considering what was to follow within the next few months...


	2. The Beginning

**A/N This chapter picks up exactly where the first one left off. I know the chapters are short at the moment but thats all I have time for. I know that your all waiting anxiously for the newsies to enter so be patient please, you have to see what poor Isabella/Raven goes through first. **

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_My first days in New York City were by far the best days of my childhood, considering what was to follow within the next few months. The city of dreams lay before me like a large jigsaw puzzle and I couldn't help but stare in fascinated awe._A young girl stood in the middle of the busy market still fascinated by the immense activity of New York City. Her auburn hair kept neatly from her face by her kerchief and her brown eyes searching for someone who had undoubtedly lost her.

"Fratello!" Her eyes darted about frantically, her childish voice drowned out by the hustle and bustle of the city. "Fratello!" Suddenly and hand grabbed her own and yanked her from her current position. Her eyes widened in horror and then she saw her brother's green eyes. By now all she could hear was her brother's angered Italian ranting.

"What is wrong with you!? How dare you just walk away and disappear on me! We gotta stick together! You could have just gotten killed or something! Don't ever let go of my hand again! EVER! Do you understand! Isabella! Do you understand me! If you ever do that again I will beat the tar out of you!" Isabella just stood there nodding at him as he yelled at her, the only sentence she understood was the last one..."If you ever do that again I will beat the tar out of you!"

"Come on!" He yanked her harshly and she went stumbling after him down the busy street, of course he didn't care whether she could keep up, as long as she didn't let go of his hand.

Vincent dragged me everywhere that day, from the West Village to Little Italy, into Queens and past Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and then somehow we ended up in the Bronx...

Vincent gripped his sister's shoulders tightly and stared into her brown eyes.

"When you knock on the door look all cute and helpless so they let you in. This is the last shot we got ok?" Isabella just nodded and then looked back at the haunting building that was the Bronx Newsboys Lodging House.

"Hey. Don't be scared of them." Vincent griped her chin lightly and turned her face back to his. "There isn't anything to be scared of, ok?" Vincent pulled her into a tight hug, letting his grip on her betray his own fear.

"Vinny, don't be scared remember?" Isabella allowed herself a small smile and kissed his cheek.

"Don't get smart with me, who's older?"

"You are, but only by a year." She pointed at him.

"At least I'm in the double digits!"

"I'll be ten next year, Vin! Stop teasing me!" Isabella pouted and crossed her arms over her chest.

"That's the look! Now go!" Vincent gave her a little shove and Isabella stumbled out onto the street. She smoothed out her tattered skirt and swiped her hand under her nose. She let out a deep breath and then ran across the cobblestone road to the doorstep of the looming lodging house. She looked up at it with her mouth agape and her eyes wide in terror before she ascended the three stairs to the door. She knocked three times and stepped back so as not to be hit by the door. Inside, cursing and rowdiness filtered to the street in waves and the scent of smoke lingered about the building. Suddenly the door went flying open to reveal a tall, muscular boy stepping out of it, a cigarette in his hand, currently in the action of moving towards his lips. Isabella jumped back and screamed before slamming her hands over her own mouth. She couldn't help but take in his rascally appearance, the chestnut hair on his head was messy and stuck up in random places and he had a scar that went from the tip of his eyebrow to the base of his eye.

"Burn! Who's at da door!?" A harsh shout came through.

"Nobody! Just some kid!" Burn looked at Isabella and she could see that his brown eyes were soft and not cruel and hard like his appearance. Burn took a drag of his cigarette as he stared at her and then carelessly flung it to the ground. He turned as began to go back inside. Isabella ran up to him and gripped the door.

"Wait! We have no place to go." She pleaded with him and then touched his defined arm. Burn sighed.

"We don't take girls..." He was already warming up to this little girl, not many would have dared to stop him as he entered his own home.

"Would it make a difference if I had a boy with me?" Burn nodded to her and then ruffled her hair a bit.

"Where is he?"

"In the alley down across the street."

"So he sent you ta do a boy's job huh?"

"No, he thought I would soften you up." She smiled sweetly at him and Burn laughed.

"Yea well it worked. Tell him to get ovah heah." Isabella hugged him and Burn went rigid for a second, she quickly let go and ran to get Vincent. Burn watched her and couldn't help but laugh.

"What'd he say?" Vincent looked at his sister expectantly.

"Yes! We have a place to stay!" Vincent beamed at her. She trotted around behind him and hopped on his back for a piggy ride across the street.

"Ompf! Your getting to heavy for this." Vincent protested playfully.

"Are not! I'm perfectly petite and pretty in every way." Isabella hugged him tighter as they walked across to the waiting Burn. Vincent froze then pointed at Burn.

"That's the guy who said yes!" Isabella nodded excitedly.

"Relax, he's actually really nice."

"I wonder where he got that scar from..."

"Ask him then."

"Uh, no thanks I think I'll pass on that one."

"Chicken!" Vincent rolled his eyes and continued across the street to Burn, bouncing Isabella a bit higher on his back.

"So dis's yer bruddah huh?" Burn said lazily. Isabella peeped her head around Vincent's shoulder and nodded enthusiastically.

Burn nodded and held open the door to them.

"Welcome home kids..."

_Welcome Indeed...._

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**Sagey: pouts I have to have some fun with my creativeness and pairingness. Ray can't always be with Spot, besides I need some variety! hehe**

**Frog: I re-read it and yes some of the descriptions were suey gags BUT I promise the story won't be!**

**Sapphy: Get out the tissue box...maybe two. hehe Yea I enjoy torturing Jack, its like my lifes ambition!**

**Reb: Longer review like whoa! Jk, Glad you like it!**

**Tuesday: Oh no, battle of the couple coming up. I shall be writing this forever you know? Especially if you don't push me to get out a chapter and let me get bored with this. **

**GA: I will never be suey again I swear! I also took your suggestion with the title, thanks for that by the way :)**

**Shooter: look who updated....**


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